Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
