OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
