definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
