Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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