I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
