I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
