It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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