I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
