It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
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Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
is wine microwaveable?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
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I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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