He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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