I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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