writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
