I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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