He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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