It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize