I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
it's great music for shaving your balls
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Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
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Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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