people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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