Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
