i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
