Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
