so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
