sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I wish i was in the wii world.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
