how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
