I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
