Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
