K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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