I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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