So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Randomize
