All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
