I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
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i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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