im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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