she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
