I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
