like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
