I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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