Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
