I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
