I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
