we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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