Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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