you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Randomize
