Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
