i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
