It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
