We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
