That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
