Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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