I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
