I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
