420 ftw
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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