U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just forgot I was standing up.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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