He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize