Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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