I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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