I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
