Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's just like the Real World with babies
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
40s are totally the cure
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
