I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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