He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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