it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
