PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize