You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize