well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
