He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
