It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
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I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
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I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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