if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
